between the lines

Lollie cookies!

2011-07-25T20:27:00.003+09:30

So Amber made these cookies as a parting present from Dakota to the kids at his daycare. The thing is these cookies are REALLY good... she better hide them or those kiddies won't be seeing any tomorrow.

going with the flow

2011-07-25T18:48:00.003+09:30

In 3 days time we will embark on our move to Sydney. Hasta la proxima Adelaide, we’ve had a good run.

Thinking back on the time passed since arriving here, it’s hard to believe that 3 years have come and gone so very quickly. These years have been a positive experience & they’ve allowed me to focus on spending time with my family and given us the opportunity to discover our own personal chemistry.

I am very much looking forward to being nearer to friends and enjoying their company and communication. It will also be very nice for Dakota to be around his cousins and enjoy all the happiness that sharing your childhood with friends brings.

Lately I have been feeling like the last few years have rolled by so quickly that there was never really an adjustment period between the old and the new; not that I see this as something detrimental, simply that I feel like it has been a long time since I have stopped to consider why I do what I do.

It seems as if in times past my default course of action has been one of giving thought to my actions only after the fact, as if looking back and piecing together the reasons for which I chose to do what I did (not sure if that instinctive or reflective). It appears most sensible folk decode their actions differently choosing to “think things through” prior to doing anything.

Sensible however is not an attribute I naturally possess and I readily acknowledge that I have simply gone with the flow of life. This flowing is something that at times causes me to feel conflicted as the very sound of simply going with the flow seems to carry an air of being irresponsible or directionless. So I find myself asking the reason why I’ve been alright with going with the flow over the last few years and it appears it may have to do with the desire to move away mentally from everything in my past that had anything to do with any “calling, mission or end result”; a subconscious rebellion of sorts. Yet at the same time there is the sense of responsibility in the consciousness of how decisions made in the now will impact my children’s future.

I am fortunate enough to be able to work hard, spend time with my family and provide for them. Now with our second bubs on the way I am predicting how it will be all to easy to throw myself all the more into routine and in a sense get carried on further down stream.

Don’t have an end thought here but am deeply enjoying putting some thoughts down on paper even if they don’t all string together. I need to think less & write more (maybe it's the other way around).

betwen two worlds

2011-04-24T20:03:00.004+09:30

beginning to increasingly question just how harmful it is for us to live at odds with natural time... and wondering how one can in this day and age live in harmony with natural time.

found this in my drafts...

2010-05-24T16:13:00.004+09:30

Not sure how old this one is...

- "There is so much I want to write, so many thoughts to put into words. It's been a while since I've done this and now feel as if the habit I've regrettably adopted of pushing certain thoughts to the back of my mind in order to stay focused on the goal at hand has affected the ability to express my inner voice. Those questions that beg to be asked, the thoughts they awaken, the exploration of what I perceive as emotion and the mental journey of reason they set me on in search of awareness and self acceptance.

Sounds a lot more complicated when written. it's much easier to say... "Today I was thinking..."

It really is so much easier to ignore these thoughts and I can understand why some do opt for the simplicity of bliss that ignorance provides."-

Funny how things change with time.

broken people get recycled...

2010-05-11T21:32:00.004+09:30

Writing makes me happy and putting thoughts into words helps me continue the search. I will try to visit you soon dear blog. Hasta entonces... as natural as the rain that falls, here comes the flood again.

momentos con mi famila

2009-03-15T18:29:00.002+10:30

Time has gone by fast this year. Too much to tell has happened and with Dakota in our lives every moment has been memorable. It's hard to put into words just how special every little happening is... the magic that a child brings or the way that every moment becomes richer... almost more full of life if you can imagine. One has to experience this for himself in order to understand what I am gibbering about. But here are some photos to share with you the happiness that my little family has brought to me and that Dakota has brought to us. Carpe Diem!

este es para abuelita

2009-03-10T20:48:00.002+10:30

Te amamos mucho!

me encanta su risa

2009-03-10T20:36:00.002+10:30

There is something about a child's laughter, it's just so real. This was taken the other night long after I was asleep. Dakota seems to be a bit of a night child and lucky he has mum to keep him company... I do feel like I am missing out though. Maybe I should start having afternoon coffee? Ya veremos. I just had to share with you this bit of the little one who keeps me smiling all day long.

Adair fam reunion pt. 1

2009-02-02T12:40:00.002+10:30

We made it to Sydney and I am very much enjoying spending some time with the Adair family relies. The weather here is relatively cool compared to Adelaide and I have finally met Jessica! She is lovely person. It's been good to see April as well, and she brought tamarindo and Tequila... so much love! Wishing Justin were here but we'll be sure to have a few drinks in his honor. We arrived day before yesterday and are heading out to Bulli ( a small beach town) for a few days looking forward to the rest of the week and I will try to take as many pics as I can.

Spent the afternoon at the pool yesterday and snapped a few shots... seeing family together is making me think a lot about mine in Mex... there will definitely be a major reunion when we return. The little guy likes being in the water and his grandma got him the cutest beach hat... he looks like a little french legionnaire or something, must get one myself. Everyone wants to hold the little man and thankfully he has been a very happy boy. I wish I were as photogenic as Amber and Dakota they are so good looking.

Will keep you posted.

junction in my journey

2009-01-18T20:39:00.003+10:30

"The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child..." Angelo Patri

viva la vida

2009-01-11T01:04:00.004+10:30

Still alive... haven't entirely forgotten about this little corner of memoirs. We are settling into our new abode in SA and are doing very well.

This journey however has reached important junctures as of the last time I sat down to write. Wonderful news ... Amber and I have received the most incredible gift ever. His name is Quinn Dakota Luna and he is nearly 6 weeks old now. He is beautiful. His silent breathing and wordless smiles have made me feel more joy than all the combined partying there has been in my life.

I pray that I will learn to give more of myself, be less selfish with my time, and help awaken in you the desire to reach out to others. Te amo chiquito.

Amber, thank you for bringing our little boy into the world... thank you for being my wife. We will enjoy seeing this little man grow every step of the way mi amor, it's the beginning of something new and challenging; I know it will be the most rewarding experience yet and having you to share it with makes me doubly blessed... Te amo.

the race is only with yourself...

2008-09-14T12:23:00.002+09:30

Perhaps it's only I but It seems to me that as people we can sometimes become so absorbed in making sure the life we live is filled with purpose, so occupied in ensuring that we are indeed doing the most we can towards an end goal, so consumed with becoming the best we can be in whatever direction our choice of life has been; that we begin to miss out on the beauty of the journey, the importance of the experience.

Is it possible to become so involved in our perception of what is the best that we fail to appreciate the importance and depth of the learning experience. Can our perception reach a point where it begins to distract us from the fact that if indeed we are here to learn to love then the most important thing is not just arriving at our destination but how we choose to reach it?

If mistakes equal good then let us not be afraid of what we will discover through them for in accepting that we are here to learn and that the end goal is not perfection let us enjoy the journey of discovery and growth, all the while allowing the beacon of love to guide us.

How does one choose to forsake a personal desire, be it a dream, aspiration or perception; when one knows that not doing so will come only at the price of unhappiness to those we love. If love is believing in others, then I choose to believe. If hope and faith abound in the presence of love, I choose love again. For love is believing, understanding and accepting that the one who loves us guides the paths we take, and if we allow Him to guide then the love within our hearts will reach others in ways far beyond those we could even begin to imagine. We can never lose by giving and although it may seem difficult to give our lives to something noble and grandiose, we may indeed discover that the greater challenges are found in those decisions where what is at stake is shedding the faith in ourselves alone and choosing instead to embrace faith in others.

2008-09-06T21:08:00.001+09:30

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

something special

2008-08-13T18:14:00.003+09:30

Everyone here knows I love my salsa and the hombre Matt "Regulator" Smith while on holiday up in Queensland last week came across this spectacular gift for the mexican. Outstanding! The visual says it all...

Gracias Smitty!

Me persigno y le entro a la botella!

felicidades mi amor

2008-08-04T09:05:00.004+09:30

Thinking back to where we were a year ago from today... so much has changed. And I want to celebrate this the day that you, the one who changed my life came to this world.

Gracias por existir!

I hope to enjoy every moment I can with you in this coming year. Happy birthday hermosa. Te amo

my gorgeous wife...

2008-08-02T11:07:00.005+09:30

...it is still her face that captivates me every time I see her. :)

As much as she may disagree I believe she truly does have a motherly glow to her, even if she may claim that this glow is only caused by extra blood rushing to her head (one of those pg factoids). What is more, I dare say that the twinkle in her eye has something to do with the thoughts that run through her head every time she looks my way. It's good to be me.

I love you baby

fatherhood, baby names and more being away

2008-08-01T19:06:00.011+09:30

Fatherhood: The Truth is the title of the Marcus Berkmann book I finished reading last week. It was delightfully humorous and quite informative. Although I must say that thanks to Amber's diligent research I was already aware of a good 70 percent of the interesting factoids regarding pregnancy, the other 30% of new info made it worth the read.

The thought of becoming a father in the not too distant future still puts a smile on my face. We have been having a hard time agreeing on a name with me wanting an Aztec or Mayan one (all of my choices have been rejected on the grounds that none of the western relatives would be able to pronounce them) and she wanting to name him something to do with native american indian heritage.... the problem is one of the only options that I like sounds like a US state. This baby name business is more work than I thought and so far my super powers of persuasion have been coming up short... Amber laughs at my attempts to convince her that awesome manly Aztec names such as Tenoch are befitting for a little Luna. Ya veremos.

I have only been back a few weeks and am getting ready to again be gone for over a month... so if it gets quieter in here than it has been as of late, well at least you'll know why. I will miss Amber so very much and will most likely be once again astonished at how much the belly will have grown.

Feilcidades a Esther por tener la primera nieta en la familia! Un abrazo a todos en Mexico.

Pics of Amber's belly:

2008-07-22T20:11:00.003+09:30

Click here to see pics of Amb 5 months PG.

mucha nieve

2008-07-12T08:59:00.007+09:30

First things first... I am having a baby boy! Wooohooo! I got my visa just in time to fly in last Tuesday and basically go directly from the airport to the medical center where I met up with Amber and got to see the little man on the screen. I thought I might cry when I saw his tiny little heart beating (yes, on occasion I am weepative) but once I saw him, I was so happy... I think I forgot to cry. Well he did put on quite a show for us and left absolutely no doubt that he is indeed a man child. :)

Alrighty, backtracking a little... my stay in NZ ended up being almost 2 months! (that's a long time to be away from the woman you love), but was fortunate enough to have spent that time with the cool people I posted about before. It just so turned out that they decided to take me along on a family reunion ski trip the weekend before my departure. It was so much fun. Here are a few photos of that trip.

I for one had never seen that much snow all at once and among other first time experiences was learning to put snow chains on when we got caught in a blizzard on our way up to the lodge.

We stayed the night at this log cabin and stayed up late playing sleeper and mafia..

We were originally going to go to Mt. Cheeseman but due to the heavy snowfall the day before that particular slope was closed so we ended up going to another slope. I had thought of learning to snow board originally but Amber thought that may be unwise and strongly suggested that I ski instead... heh. This is a picture of the learner's lesson... getting a grip on things. Spent most of the day there but ventured to the intermediate slope you see in the back there. I only lost a ski twice and had no wipe outs thank God... it was a also very windy day and I think that added to the thrill of it all.

I love the way everything becomes so quiet when there is so much snow and I loved the way light reflects off of that much whiteness.

hasta la proxima...

sin mucho que contar...

2008-06-29T20:54:00.006+09:30

Just a couple photos taken last weekend when we took a day trip to an old quarry on the outskirts of town. It has been turned into a park/reserve and is really quite beautiful. Coming from Mexico where you don't often see that many beautiful parks that are so easily accessible, I have been enjoying the outdoors here immensely. There is a good chance I may get to snowboard this coming weekend! Wooohooo. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one as Amber hasn't yet given me a green light (some talk about not wanting me to fly back with a broken leg or such...), but where there is life there's hope.

I am expecting some sort of reply or update on my visa status next Thursday (your continued prayers are much appreciated) and will hopefully have news of the future then.

Un abrazo to the amigos all over!

still in Christchurch...

2008-06-18T05:05:00.005+09:30

...will be here at least a couple more weeks it seems. We got the first snow of the season last week. Missing the warm aussie weather but enjoying every minute of my stay. Te extrano mi amor.

Pictures of the last few months..

2008-06-03T20:53:00.003+09:30

These have been posted on Amber's blog but here goes for those of you who may have not yet seen these. They are pretty much self explanatory.

little Luna on its way!

2008-05-26T20:20:00.007+09:30

Yup, a little moon is rising. I am soooo excited! The little one arrives in late November! Qué emoción! So apart from husband I am now also a father. Quien diria. It's hard to explain just how happy simply knowing this makes me, but I can hardly wait for that little baby! Those are the big news and I could not ask for more. I love you Amber!

In other news; I am currently in kiwi land, staying with some very nice people in Christchurch, New Zealand. Thank you for your hospitality Mark and Joy!

It is beautiful here, cold and wet in the winter, but beautiful. I had never been to a place where the sun goes down at 5:30... it's cool. Everything is very very green, so many trees and flowers. It's been raining almost every day since I arrived but today there was a little sun peeking out from behind the clouds and I struck out for a cliff walk. Took some pictures (will post those when I get back to Adelaide), outstanding scenery. Flying back in a few days (I miss my lover and my baby) and will have more news then.

Fam and friends, the news may take a while to make it on here, but I have not given up on keeping you updated.

Un abrazo!

I'm going to be a dad!

first couple of weeks in Adelaide...

2008-04-11T17:51:00.011+09:30

adios Sydney!

2008-03-28T07:55:00.008+10:30

Little behind the times here... but I have decided to not give upon this blog just yet, so here are some photos of my last week in Sydney.
Amber has probably posted about some of these very events but as they were also special for me, I will go ahead and show you more.

Had a lovely afternoon with the Adair family; there was swimming, pool and lots of comida; my fav were the delicious lamb chops and yummy humus. Thanks Jo, Shane and Lynn for having us over!

Also spent a night with Mike and Anaik and while at their place took a bike ride to Lake Paramatta Reserve and then met up with them later for a picnic dinner.

Big thank you also to Mark and Kay for having us!

Caught an overnight bus to Adelaide with a stop in Melbourne... didn't get to see much of Melbourne as it was raining but the last leg of the bus ride was on a double decker and I rode on top... woohoo! Saw a very dry yet beautiful stretch of farmland and arrived into the longest standing heat wave in history for Adelaide; will save that story for next post.

So that is my somewhat short and very vague recount of my second week in Sydney and even though the photos are not in the proper timleline the skinny is: I had a wonderful time and "thank you" to everyone who helped make it memorable! I will be back!

On another note... I discovered "root" has an entirely different meaning here... heh. these Aussies son tremendos.

... in Sydney

2008-02-22T16:46:00.011+10:30

A week has come and gone... still a bit hard to believe I am in Australia. Experiencing something new every day... too much to tell in one sitting, but I will write a few of the personal highlights before too much time goes by and my memory begins to fail me.

A day or so after arriving I got the chance to met the other part of the Adair family I was missing at Jo's birthday party, they're a fun bunch. The following day I was introduced to Rugby and Tackle Bullrush at an area fellowship; those Hartingdon boys are sturdy I tell you... had my shirt torn off and had a sore neck for a few days but it was fantastic fun.

That night I met the better part of all the friendlies in Syd at a fam celebration and had the privilege of watching David Komic live! The man is hilarious! He pulled off some on the spot over the top representations of the various stages of growth the TFI
has experienced. Memorable.

Had a fun day trip to Sydney a few days ago with Mark, Amber and little Allan. Took a train to Circular Quay and walked down to the Opera House (it's true... the roof is made up of bathroom tiles), caught a ferry over to Manly and walked down to Shelly beach... beautiful.

Loving the fact that Aussies are refreshingly brash and... informal. That is the best word I can think of. And the women! Wow, the women. Good example of both these things: we're walking to Shelly Beach when the lifeguard over the loud speaker begins to inform the public that there are jellyfish in the water, he gives instructions to rinse with cool water if stung and closes his announcement saying in a very matter of fact way "the sting will last 30 minutes to an hour... there is nothing you can do about it so you'll just have to deal with it". Heh! All over the beach there were families with their children and babies... and bare breasted mujeres, gorgeous women in down to earth tones. Fantastic.

Enjoyed the beach for a few hours before catching the ferry back and since there were still a few hours of daylight took a lovely stroll through the Botanical Gardens. The gardens are a paradise for tree lovers, some of the most amazing trees I have ever seen... and I had a surprise encounter with a flock of cockatoos.

Amber's brother Chris is a Chef and just yesterday he invited us for lunch over at the Hotel where he works. Being of inquisitive nature I couldn't pass up the opportunity to try the kangaroo rump in red wine. It was a pleasant surprise, a little chewy as is most game meat... but quite tasty.

It's been such a good feeling to experience something new, a different culture and make new friends in the process, but that whole aspect of life will have to wait for the next post.

Will try to keep up with all the happenings a bit better for the sake of friends and fam. I miss you special people, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Un abrazo.

leaving on a jet plane

2008-02-03T00:23:00.000+10:30

There is a ticket with my name on it. Novelty for me as I haven't yet visited anywhere other than Mexico's neighboring countries.

I would have never imagined that my first journey off the continent would take me to the land down under; but so it will.

Amongst other first times will be experiencing jet lag and skipping most of Valentine's Day altogether...was never much of a romantic anyway. But the best news of all is that there is a friendly face waiting for me on the other end.

I will leave from here...

arrive there...

depart from there to here...

then leave again to eventually arrive here...

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go...

know thyself

2008-02-01T00:09:00.000+10:30

The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.

Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory.

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

Sun Tzu's Art of War

fam get together...

2008-01-16T01:19:00.000+10:30

In the first week of January Ez, Angie and Jo came to visit us from Saltillo for a few days; Liz was also here, she came from Veracruz. It was nice to see just about all the siblings gathered( Esther couldn't' make it), they have all grown so much.

Perhaps the Maya were on to something in their belief of increased consciousness making it feel like time is going by faster... or maybe I am just getting old. Either way,time does seem to be flying.

Hope to see more of them soon and I am looking forward to taking up writing again.

la calma y el silencio

2008-01-15T04:00:00.000+10:30

...en aquel tiempo eran muchos los que se retiraban a la soledad de los montes a meditar.
...y eran muchos los que en el silencio de los volcanes nevados y de los pequeños valles ocultos, Se buscaban a sí mismos...

"...aquellos que buscan el Silencio en la calma nunca lo encontrarán desnudo.
...para desnudarlo hay que buscarlo entre el bullicio.

Díganme:
¿de qué sirve a un corazón tener calma en medio de la soledad?, ¿a poco no es como la calma que tiene un lago estancado en un valle?

...mas, ¡Que grande es un corazón cuando en medio de las dificultades y los problemas conserva la calma y se viste con el Silencio!

...es como el torrente que resbala sereno por la ladera de la montaña...

...algunos van a lugares donde lo más que les molesta es el canto de un pajarillo o el sonido que arranca el viento a las hojas de los árboles...

Y piensan:
...estoy tranquilo y sereno en este lugar, ya he alcanzado la calma y el Silencio es amigo de mi corazón...
...pero cuando vienen al bullicio, sus pulsos se agitan y sus corazones se alteran, y sus pensamientos chocan con violencia en sus frentes,

y yo les preguntaría:
¿dónde guardaron la calma?, ¿qué morada le prepararon en sus pechos que tan pronto se les fue?

...sepan que aquel que busca el Silencio interior debe encontrarlo en medio de los ruidos y de las voces y de los gritos, y tomándolo debe sentarlo en su corazón, y al escucharlo ya no oirá hacia fuera sino hacia dentro...

...y en verdad les digo, que ni cien tormentas, ...ni la explosión de mil volcanes podrían ya nunca separarlo de él...

...para buscar pues, la calma Interior, no vayan adonde todo es calma sino adonde no hay paz, y sean ustedes la paz. De esta forma la encontrarán al darla, y la tendrán en la medida en que vean que otros necesitan de ustedes para calmarse..."

-Quetzalcóatl

waaaay behind

2008-01-09T13:55:00.000+10:30

2 months in Torreon have come and gone. Time seems to go by quicker the older you get and now we are a week into the New Year. Since I last posted I've had the opportunity to share wonderful moments with some excellent people.

Steve: I haven't met a more positive man in years, incredibly talented. He has the gift of empathy and a hunger for reaching out to others. An outstanding human being and wonderful friend.

Jim: Hard to find a more soft spoken, patient man... also has the best sense of humor ever... for real, I think that is my favorite thing about him.

Lirio: She is my mum; incredible faith, patience and Love are what make this lady tops in my books. The love and care she pours into Angel serves to remind me daily of the truly important things in life... enough said.

Suko: My sister, a tough cookie, but a truly dependable friend and an extraordinary mommy... it takes one for a tyke like Kenji... enough said.

Angel and Kenji... well, these guys are rascals. But they keep us young at heart and help us discover things about ourselves we never even imagined each and every day.

Too much happened in Dec for me to keep up with it, so sadly I will have to simply post some photos of events and such.

Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy new Year!

Según mis latidos...

2007-12-23T14:36:00.000+10:30

... no me queda mucho tiempo a mi favor.

Te extraño.

made it to Torreon

2007-11-13T08:01:00.001+10:30

It's been ten days of changing gears; catching up on sleep, getting back in touch with old friends, making new ones, rediscovering the city and enjoying all the simple joys of life that little miracles bring when you are in the pioneer stage.

I am beginning to at last get my mail ministry somewhat organized and since Telmex finally got with the program and offered packages that include unlimited national and local calls, I am calling friends near and far. So, if you are a friend in Mexico... send me your number. :)

I leave you with some photos of the last few days and will be back soon with more...

Fred who??

2007-11-04T13:53:00.000+10:30

This one is just for you Ez...Cual Fred Astaire ni que nada!?

Mario Moreno "Cantinflas"... in his finest form! Este si es talento inigualable!

"El Bolero de Raquel"

"El Bombero Atomico"

el tiempo pasa...

2007-11-04T12:44:00.000+10:30

days go by... -DV-

remember ...

2007-10-30T14:03:00.003+10:30

...that is what is going thru my mind.

it's been a very long time since I've sat down with the intent of putting my thoughts into words perhaps because I've been thinking of calling it a night on this count... of letting this story come to a close. It's incredible how quickly life carries on. So much has happened since I last posted, but in a nutshell... its been a very long few months... I'll go head and extend that to a very long year. :)

Something of note however is that as of tomorrow morning I am parting ways with a wonderful team; a group of individuals who have made the last 2 years of my life an unforgettable experience... I will miss them dearly.

It's time to keep moving forward.

Although I am not exactly sure where this forward motion is carrying me... I know that it will bring new challenges, new experiences and new friends.... I know you're out there guys... I will find you soon.

Too much to say, in such few words. Un abrazo al CTC and to the ones that matter... remember the good times.

pensamientos para el dia de hoy

2007-08-20T21:39:00.000+09:30

"Triste época la nuestra. Es mas fácil desintegrar un átomo que superar un prejuicio."

"Todos somos muy ignorantes. Lo que ocurre es que no todos ignoramos las mismas cosas."

"Dos cosas son infinitas: el universo y la estupidez humana; y yo no estoy seguro sobre el universo."
Albert Einstein

"La pasión en decadencia, la emoción en banca rota; sufrirá la descendencia, las infamias de tu boca." Ricardo Arjona

the Nemo

2007-07-14T11:28:00.000+09:30

BBQ (faces and looks)

2007-07-14T10:57:00.000+09:30

It had been a while since we took a pause and enjoyed a sunny afternoon. We miss the rest of our team... so this is what we have to do to keep our spirits raised. Heh. Come home soon guys...

Now to begin, here is the "super-star" (too much Victoria) look.

Tiffany's "Eeeew!" face... (girls).

Right; there is an explanation for this face I assure you. I blame his school videos... it's called "The HIPPO".

The proud cheffs...

Justin and Linda... que tierno.

that would be Jo, and her trademark tounge.

Watch out for Kenji... that guy... sneaking in hugs. A true Luna.

Sam looking very... Sammish. Not sure if that is "chrome" or "blue steel".

not sure what look that is either... but the beer looked good...

Once again, come home soon guys.

confessions...

2007-07-14T09:18:00.000+09:30

words unspoken, but not unheard.

una historia

2007-06-26T10:07:00.000+09:30

I have a story to tell.

:)

Thanks to the support of the fantastic people in my Home I was able to get away for 5 days (I flew on a plane for the first time) and experience a trip of just living the moment.

It was my first time to the beach town of “La Mision”

and I have to say I quite liked the feel of it; on week days there were mostly just surfers out there and since there were empty beaches I enjoyed long walks,

swimming,

margaritas,

sunsets

and naps.

Of course, the fabulous thing about taking lazy days is that when you have someone to share them with nothing is every really dull… to the contrary, there is hardly a dull moment. I was a very happy boy…

thank you Amber for making it so memorable! (she’s incredible... and gorgeous)

There are times when you come in contact with thosewhose hunger for life is so strong that it becomes contagious… guess we’ll see if I can keep up.

Enough said.

"Seamos realistas y hagamos lo imposible."

2007-06-22T11:02:00.000+09:30

I have for some time thought of myself as a realist, not so much in the sense that I am overly concerned for fact or reality and/or reject the impractical and visionary, but simply because I like to think that at least sometimes I have my feet halfway on the ground and think with a level head (I may be wrong on this one though, you tell me). However, itt seems that my notion of realism has been completely wrong.

I looked the term realist up in the dictionary and the definition of realism makes reference to the doctrine that universals exist outside the mind; specifically : the conception that an abstract term names an independent and unitary reality: or the theory that objects of sense perception or cognition exist independently of the mind -- and that can then lead to the issue of nominalism which is a whole different story.

Now, I of course wasn't relating what I was saying to any of this when I voiced to someone the other day that "I am a realist" in an attempt to express how based on past experience I didn't share her belief that a certain event would occur. But when I said it, she shot back with a thing or two that made me think about what I was really saying and it was very shortly thereafter that the title of this post (a Che Guevara quote) popped into my head...

So for what it's worth... you are right.

-If its difficult it may take a little while...if its impossible than it may take a little longer.

dice que...

2007-05-11T13:06:00.000+09:30

"Opportunities pass us by while we sit regretting the chances we have lost, & the happiness that comes to us we heed not because of the happiness that is gone."

"Tis time this heart should be unmoved, since others it hath ceased to move, yet though I cannot be loved, still let me love."

...and thus I rest my case. Me encanta su manera de pensar... y sentir.

mariachi y baile

2007-05-09T11:09:00.000+09:30

I've been in Cuernavaca for a few days, visiting amigos and such. A friend brought mariachi over for Nai's birthday celebration and we ended up singing till about 4 am, didn't think I knew that many rancheras.

I also got to see some good friends; Paz, Joy and Cel... hey; I even made a new one! He came all the way from Lithuania and I think he was rather pleased with the cultural experience.

So the velada turned out to be a lot of fun and I even danced a little when I could no longer sing, well I never could sing to begin with, but you know what I mean.

And for the record; I can't remember the last time I was this happy to get a one liner. :)

Teotihuacan

2007-05-02T09:39:00.000+09:30

I had a really good time yesterday, hadn't gotten away for a while.

I couldn't help but think of what life and civilization must have been like back when it was a prosperous city; when life was still conducted at a pace where one would take the time to actually appreciate the beauty allaround us.

I am sitting atop the "Pyramid of the Sun" in the first two pictures, facing the Pyramid of the Moon.

Amber and I halfway up the Moon Pyramid, behind us lies the "Avenue of the Dead" and the large pyramid on the left is the "Pyramid of the Sun".

I have to thank her really for making me take her out there, as I would have probably never have gone of my own accord. Gracias Amber.

Y tu, que piensas?

2007-05-02T08:46:00.000+09:30

need to express

2007-02-11T10:22:00.000+10:30

myself, even if it is for no reason other than to keep the youthful side in me alive. I go through phases where I fall in and out of love with dance, but in the end it always pulls me back. I just can't think of a better way to silently express or transmit an emotion. Penned words may move the mind, but the thoughts of the heart can more often than not be expressed through freedom of the spirit. Let the music move your body.

te cuesta algo

2007-02-04T11:49:00.000+10:30

Everything that is worth anything costs something.

2007-02-02T01:04:00.000+10:30

It's been over a month, I know; but I just had to show you a pic of the two gorgeous women I get to work with. Be envious. Work has never been such a pleasure. :)

soft spot

2007-01-28T13:46:00.000+10:30

I tell you, when I read this so many things fell into place in my mind; there is nothing like distinctly seeing the truth in a matter. While talking to a friend this evening about life and it's occurrences, I realized just how much I am learning to love my soft spots.

Let Me leave a soft spot:
You naturally think that a complete victory would mean you feel nothing for them and that you have no reaction at all to anything having to do with them. Yet in reality, that may not be the most desirable form of victory. A longer-lasting victory may be one of overcoming and rising above the intense pain and struggle, and yet in the end retaining a "soft spot" of feelings that come up from time to time as a reminder of what you have been through and a reminder of your own weakness.

...The prayer of your heart should be that I will work however I see fit; that I will keep you soft, keep you connected, through whatever means I see fit.

—ML#3611, Jesus is Enough

free

2007-01-28T13:29:00.000+10:30

Thank You for doing it; thank You for always answering.

I'm back

2007-01-21T14:06:00.000+10:30

Oh boy, it's been over a month; time is simply flying, I had a very happy, very eventful close of a last year, and a very busy start of a new one; and it seems like the new year always ushers in a rush of rambling thoughts. However, I think I will simply post some backed up pictures for now...those shallow thoughts of mine can wait for later. :)

Hope you are all having a fantastic time!

Un abrazo.

little man

2006-12-05T14:41:00.000+10:30

I can't believe it's been over 3 months...

He makes me a very happy uncle. Although I did have to shave his head for the second time cause his hair was coming in splotchy, with patches of dark and blonde hair, hilarious!

He is getting kind of cuter though.

I love my Kenji!

satisfaction

2006-11-19T04:21:00.000+10:30

It simply comes down to the fact that you are first and above all a spiritual being. And only when you learn that happiness‚ fulfillment‚ and satisfaction only come through satisfying your spiritual nature will you be truly happy. As long as you're giving anything carnal—any carnal desire, any carnal nature, any carnal proclivity or tendency—a higher priority than the needs of your spirit, you will not find true satisfaction.

—ML#3611, Jesus is Enough

de la boca de los chiquillos...

2006-11-12T12:28:00.002+10:30

Children have a way of being so refreshingly sincere and shamelessly outspoken… a bit too much at times.

I’m presently schooling a group of five 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders. Fun bunch. They have a way of not only coming up with the most interesting of questions, but of also making the most intrepid statements about their surroundings and the people they know.

You know how as a parent or caretaker you at one time or another experience a situation where you have to at a later time point out to the little person that the unrestrained voicing of their opinion can be rude and embarrassing? Yet, other times, they seem to see right through people and you can’t help but tend to agree with their take on things.

Well, it’s at those moments that you pause, hesitant on whether you need to steer the conversation in a different direction; or, ask yourself if there really is a need to say anything at all.

I usually give them a pensive look and encourage them to explore other possibilities of what really may be as I contain my laughter, yet other times I can’t help but beam a smile and think, “I knew it wasn’t just me!”

Thank God for children and for how they remind me of how important it is to be honest with my self.

If you knew me...

2006-11-10T16:31:00.000+10:30

"... and the sky opened up
with the soil of the sun..

... I hope you understand what I mean,

nice to meet you anyway"

thank you God

2006-10-31T23:32:00.000+10:30

What is more precious than life itself? I need to be more faithful to pray for those I care about.

bubble burst

2006-09-30T11:26:00.000+09:30

Man - it had been a long time since I had felt like someone took all the thoughts I wanted to acknowledge as my own and put them into the words I struggled to grasp but just could not find.

I am writing this one down.

It is expressed with such simplicity and sincerity that it is almost painful to acknowledge that the truth has been staring at me all along.

- I believe I feel the same way regarding love in that I will always love those I have loved and not think it odd - I have not closed myself off to it even though at times I have tried, I have realized that that is what I am like. However, I know that I have hurt others who had a real hard time with that mentality; the *I love everyone different, the love I have for so and so is completely different and taking away from them does not give you more* etc. I have had many a discussion about it, as for the most part even though you may treat someone as if they are unique and love them that way, it is possible to live in denial still behaving in many ways as if you are single, making all those decisions on your own, and although of course you do not mean to hurt the one you care for and in your mind you have made it so clear to them that they are the one you love and want to be with --- you end up hurting what you have.

- what I am wondering is - when you love someone, and you decide to share your life with them, and be with them, then I believe that you put their best interests and feelings above your own, asking them what they think and feel about your feelings, and accordingly, not acting on or verbalizing them if need be - out of love for the one you care for, because that is in essence what being with someone is, it is saying that their love and companionship is worth more to you than that of everyone else and your own personal desires - I believe the fact of the matter is that it must be that way in order for both to feel respected, trusted and secure. -

All that is left to do is pick myself up and try again.

miss them already

2006-09-08T12:08:00.000+09:30

Mom was in town for the birth and it happened to coincide with Ez' b-day. We went out for tacos... one of those moments where things are as they should be, spent with the ones you care about.

But these two...

Well, you know how you sometimes forget to tell those you love all the little things you admire and adore about them thinking that tomorrow will be a more appropriate time to say what you feel?

Yup, I did it again.

Good thing they're not too far.

He had a Happy birthday, 21; and to think there was a time when I called him the little brother. heh.

and she... I miss that smile, the one that glows even through the tears. I love that lady. Will be crashing her place soon.

and this one...

well it doesn't matter what I'm doing.. if she's there, I am always smiling.

the little guy

2006-09-03T13:39:00.000+09:30

He's almost a week old and he's beautiful. 32 hours of labor (6 of pushing), I got home just in time to see the birth. I cried. To witness the miracle of a new life entering this world is simply overwhelming.

He's about an hour old here.

La vida es bella.

History

2006-08-02T22:49:00.000+09:30

In order to understand the reasons why the conflict in the Middle East is of such magnitude it I important to be conscious of the reasons for it.
Here is a brief article on the history of war in the region.
"...the meek shall inherit the earth and delight themselves in the abundance of peace."

implausible

2006-07-31T11:14:00.001+09:30

The present situation in the Middle East has taken much of my thought these last couple of weeks; so much so that I go to bed praying for those who on both sides of the conflict are becoming the innocent victims of man's pride, greed and lack of love. I feel that the acquiescence of the powers that be of the gross disrespect for human life that we are seeing can only be interpreted as the repudiation of all that is humane, and if allowed to continue will only mark the beginning of the death of a very big part of our collective human conscience; there is simply no justification.

Outrage, disbelief and sadness are only few of the feeling that fill me when I see and hear the recent developments. It is unbelievable to what depths man will sink when there is an absence of God's love in his heart.

I pray for peace and weep for those whose only idea of love for God is that of putting and end to another being's life. Until the Prince of peace returns, I for one will continue to stand against this disease of hardness of heart and numbness of soul; if only others would awaken from the false sense of reality that surrounds them and realize than when one of us suffers, we all suffer.

Here is a little history lesson for those of you who may not be familiar with the middle east.

disbelief

2006-07-26T11:31:00.001+09:30

Sometimes people get an idea in their head that no matter how hard you try to demonstrate the truth of the matter may be different, you might as well be living in an alternate reality.

I am a stupid man, ridiculously stupid, the kind that stones have taught to fly, and yes, when I get an idea in my head (usually fueled by a resolute decision to remain true to what I either believe to be true or the sincere desire to make it so) it can be hard to let it go; but one thing I tell you, I have learned that one cannot hold on to the past.

The past; as it was, as we perceived it, as others felt it, the hidden past, the past in all it subtlety, guilt and evasiveness. Some would say that I have a hard time letting go of the past, that I choose to let it haunt me, that my present is the sum of the sentimental memories collected and acquired. Perhaps.

Although I have always preferred to see my journey in time as a continuous detachment of what has been, in the process of experiencing that which is. A choice to constantly make new...

What I was trying to say before beginning to sound lost is that I can't help myself from wanting to believe that in spite of mistakes, things can still be. Not the same, not as they were... just still be.

Does past experience, how we have felt at one time in our life determine who we are? Who we've been, yes; but who we can be?

The problem is that it seems that in order for others to have faith in you, they have to perceive you as changed, as having learned from your mistakes. Sometimes a lifetime isn't enough to show someone you care, for when they've made up their minds it as if two worlds are at odds, and you know what they say about love and war. All may be fair, it just depends what end you are seeing things from. But what does it take to be noticed when you're holding up a white flag? Is the mere act of admitting the lack of desire to continue the end in itself? Or is it for a reason?

Maybe it's just about having lived the experience. I like that thought. All the same, I will never stop saying "Te amo".

superhero 2

2006-07-12T02:05:00.000+09:30

Got this mascara back when the Emma and Angie were visiting - gonna make my own film. " WHACKY (sounds like Joaqui) LIBRE!" I need a side kick.

Anyway, got to thinking that my Super Hero character needs some pizzaz and I was inspired by the STRONGBAD look. What do you think Luci?

Emails I can do; but the song writing, I think I lack his creativity on that one... dangit.

letting go

2006-07-10T13:20:00.000+09:30

Thought you did not have to, did not want to; but you let it go.

Take back that which was given but not meant to be received.

You breathe.

Whether you form the distance or the distance forms you; peace will be found only in trust.

You accept.

I will not take away, you must choose to give: He says.

Be happy - the words that will not stop echoing.

You smile.

It is that simple.

it has done me good...

2006-06-24T14:27:00.000+09:30

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an
ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.
And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to
remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to
remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Le Petit Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (June 29, 1900 – July 31, 1944)

catching the train?

2006-06-13T11:44:00.000+09:30

It's a blurr speeding past me.. sliding doors; they will open, close and then move on. The choice to get on is sometimes the hardest. I board, look out the window and realize that the blurr is now where I used to be.

Where will it take me? Not sure. But that guy up front, He's in control. So I don't mind the past taking its place in the background... and I am happy to be moving.

Moral of the story:

2006-06-12T16:35:00.000+09:30

- You can't have your cake and eat it too -

"What about apple pie?" I asked (I love apple pie).
"Don't even think about it, one bite the whole thing, it's all the same" they say.

I know they're right.

but still... cookie anyone?

superhero

2006-05-05T13:58:00.000+09:30

superman ni que nada...

- wherever there be a lady in distress -

just for you.

love you Luci

cuando, quien ,como?

2006-05-05T05:43:00.000+09:30

I hadn't realized just how infrequent my posting has been; diversions can become hazy when a new focus is found.

Read an interesting piece today on "The American vs The European Way". Muy interesante. All paths lead to Rome I tell you.

Looking forward to seeing all the happy people in MTY this weekend and will have some pictures to post; which reminds me I have come to the conclusion that I love photos too much and must get a camera.

Don't think I will ever go for the amateur photographer thing though; I think apart from perhaps interpretive dance, I lack any and all other forms of art skill. Heh. Just point and shoot will do.

Had a song dedicated to me on the radio last night! (Snow Patrol Run) One day she is my student and next time I see her she is a Radio DJ, yes, I felt special.

it kicked

2006-04-18T22:52:00.000+09:30

My soon to be nephew/niece gave its first kick last night! You know what this means??? I'm going to be an uncle! I of course knew this already, but just thinking of all the things we'll be able to do together ( play soccer, play soccer... play soccer)is an exciting thought, think of it he is kicking already! I need to take some pictures of the beautiful belly. Little help please Luci. :)

3 - 2 - 1 action

2006-04-12T20:56:00.000+09:30

It has been much too long -

so much has happened and in due time I will relate all, but right now I have one word for you:

NEGATIVE

it's the only word I saw on that big medical sheet in the big envelope.... and I am happy.

Good times, let them roll.

:)

thank you

2006-03-21T04:01:00.000+10:30

Thank you!

Emma!

I just saw!

Nevermind the other scary pic, I am very touched; and as unworhty as I feel of those words they have made me feel very loved.

No man is an island and you also have touched my life in many ways, for the better, none of this mujer mala sutff!

besos!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

2006-03-20T11:41:00.000+10:30

Happy Birthday!

Through difficulties and hardships, through highs and lows, through breakings and re-makings - 25 years has only made you a better person. You have changed many lives, made more of a difference then you know, and touched hearts in places few every could.

I wish you the best for this next year - love, happiness, contentment, satisfaction, peace and all that you desire. You have given so much to Him - I know you deserve way more.

Happy Birthday and may you have a long life, full of wine, merriment and women! :)

(25 is ooooold!) :P

2 MILFS and a nephew

2006-03-15T06:58:00.000+10:30

Today marks a very special occasion. It is that time a year when the good Pisces people celebrate those dates in which God deemed the earth worthy to bestow upon it such wonderful creations as ourselves.

Happy Birthday guys!

My favorite (only) nephew Christian turns 8 today! And as if that were not enough, two of them most likeable women I've had the pleasure of knowing make this day a festivity as well.

Paula and Gia – what can I say other than:

THANK YOU GOD

I rest my case

You can always count on a Pisces woman to without remorse tell you what she thinks; whole truth, take it or leave it.

Pisces women.

They have that unique quality of in a non strictly metaphorical way, bringing fun to the party and making the after party even better (and that without the need of alcohol) always a plus in my books. However, dont ever let them think too much about something, sometimes they will not know when to stop. If with a single look they can make you laugh or cry, I wont even tell you that their words can do, but if ever you are up to the experience, it is a ride you dont want to miss.

Love you girls!

Leon, Guanajuato

2006-03-14T10:52:00.000+10:30

It had been quite some time (several years) since I had done the singing thing.

Here you can see our in house divas (whose contracts specified the need for the following yet was not limited to: a constant supply of bottled Evian water for in between sets, cappuchinos delieverd to their bed every morning, diet cokes with every meal and a case of Corona's between gigs) in all their radiance- heh.

Kidding, they were real troopers and single handedly managed to make the trip very enjoyable. Coudn't have done it without you girls --- yup, ur the best. :)

It was a lot of fun.

Thinking of Morelia next. Camineros, here we come.

one down, two to go

2006-03-09T00:49:00.000+10:30

I realized I never posted pics of my ice-skaitng episode... nothign too exciting, but I didn't fall once! Which is more than I can say for my partner. :)

Just have the rollerblades and bareback riding to conquer now... wish me luck.

Happy Birthday Boo!!

2006-03-06T05:35:00.000+10:30

Wishing you peace of mind and sincere love.

lazy afternoons

2006-02-22T01:33:00.000+10:30

The stuff memories are made of. I really am priviliged to live with as good a bunch as the one here. Feast Day 3 found us at a lake. Compadres Jason and John were the first to give in to the urge and jump in, followed by some others, coulnd't be left behind, and even though it was cold, pulling the girls in made it more than worth it.

let it speak

2006-02-13T14:14:00.000+10:30

It has been quiet in here, and for no other reason than; the absence of sufficient time to kill.

Let me tell you that I have as of last time something was left said on here gone ice skating! (third time in my life) Me and any kind of skates never seem to work well, but I survived (did not fall once) and even got a picture of me smiling.

Valentines Day is quickly approaching and I will most likely be absent for the occasion but I do want to say something about this fine day. Though I find myself facing a unique challenge; that of celebrating this event with the proverbial -hands tied behind my back- ; I will not let this steal the joy that comes from the sincere, genuine magic that lies in the heart. Expressions of love may on this day come attached with chocolates, (which I will have) fine bottles of wine (which I shall not have) and many other joyful activities (all in due time mig), but the one thing that will make this day unique, will be the sound of the voice that can only be heard in the heart, the one that tells you to love the best way you know how.

To those of you who have your hands and can use them, never minds your hands; to those of you who have the courage to listen to your heart … Hear Hear: Let not love die with the occasion, nay, I say let it ignite a flame, burn on continuously, and if need be rekindle what you feel slipping away. But most importantly, let love speak through you, let its voice be heard, carry its echo through your eyes and in your smile. Learn to listen in those moments of silence when nothing is left unsaid and everything is felt.

Think of the one word that makes you smile and say it over, again and again.

Muna :)

love my life

2006-01-28T06:42:00.000+10:30

Love my life...

These guys make it worth it all.

Feb 2nd. Here we come.

thank you

2006-01-23T11:49:00.000+10:30

There have been many times when I have been selfish, faithless and yes --- irresponsible.

It has been a long term in the school of hard knocks; I find myself sometimes repeating the same mistakes, wondering how much it will take for me to understand. It is in these moments that I realize just how blessed I am to have shared every one of those experiences with those who possessed enough understanding and selflessness to have loved and cared for me to the point of their own hurt - who through their silent strength, resolve, faith, compassion and forgiveness have helped me to learn.

The strength to forgive is one which I will forever admire.

You have touched my life in a very special way and if ever you should need someone to be there for you:

I will be here.

I'M SORRY

2006-01-19T13:07:00.000+10:30

never ever again...

yet a little while

2006-01-17T23:32:00.000+10:30

- a soon coming end to the winter of wonderland, for in more ways than one has Narnia been my abode.

- a haze at first, I now see that with time the colors of the sky are once again bleeding into each other - somewhere in the stillness I sense the inaudible voice of light whisper:

- yet a little while -

no longer broken, for the fragments that once were have been smashed to smithereens - no longer splinters of the frame that held my illusions, for they too have risen in flames - the fire of acceptance.

- and all these which I feared to be remnants and shadows forever to haunt have instead returned from whence they came and do now exist as invisible entities whose pulsating presence breathe life to this ever changing heart.

- though once I waited, there is no longer reason to prolong or delay, for all this is indeed nothing more than the beginning of that which is to be.

- that which is now, that which has been, and that which I will choose.

- Can love and time coexist or are they destined to be forever at odds?

- Is love not subject to time or is time which is indifferent to love?

- no matter -

- I say one cannot have one without the other, more so, that the acceptance of the limitations which time does represent in this mortal realm and the realization that these be but for a season, is once again nothing more than the first step to beginning a journey of discovery.

- love in this life.

- to seek out or let myself be found by that which is destined to live on forever, is a journey I intend not to miss.

- elude? what for? -

- I shall enjoy every step of the way.

kodak moments

2006-01-11T11:41:00.000+10:30

I finally got my hands on a scanner.

This could be either good or bad, but nonetheless fun… and will no doubt be highly entertaining - all of those 10 year old pictures are coming up.

Found myself going through the letters, cards and photographs of times past. It reminded me of a good many things - they say a good deal of a mans worth can be valued by the friendships he either holds or has made. Whether those friendships are of a sincere, valuable and caring nature is a completely different story and obviously quite subjective.

I guess for me, it has always been easy to form friendships but very difficult to need people back - I wonder if thats weird.

Regardless - welcome to the scanning era of my blog: to kick it off I will now present you with a picture that goes back a bit beyond 10 years - guess who the little squinty kid at the bottom is.

Yours truly.

it so happens that ...

2006-01-09T14:55:00.000+10:30

... and that is all I have to say about that.

last couple of days

2006-01-02T16:34:00.000+10:30

She is here.
You beautiful you, little sister. Faithful puzzle buddy; charming, smart, no no-nonsense, self acclaimed clumsy individual... I couldn't have asked for a better family and Angie you are no exception to the fantastic bunch, gonna miss you little one.

I wasn't here for the Christmas meal as I had to make a lightning trip to the border and back, but they saved me tamales... so much love.

Whenever these two get together they bring out a side in each other that is rarely seen, lovng it... they have me smiling all day.

And this last picture. What can I say other then I blame them and their antics for this silly grin and that is what a really happy face looks like on me. :)

Feliz Navidad

2006-01-02T15:24:00.000+10:30

Ok, so Christmas has come and gone and I am a week late in posting pics, nontheless I had a good time with friends and fam so up they go anyway. My sister Ang is in town for a visit and I have been having a splendid time these last couple of days, 18 now... wow, they grow up so fast.
Un abrazo a todos.

como asi

2006-01-02T14:51:00.000+10:30

Now THIS is how you usher in a New Year...
Happy 2006 to all of you dear friends!

Good-bye my friend.. you have been the one...

2005-12-24T16:56:00.000+10:30

Feliz Navidad everyone.

New Year --- here we come.

May 5th, 2005

Thank you for you love compadre, it has been a while I know. Listen Jesus, I wanted to talk a little bit about what happened yesterday and try to speak my heart. You know how I was hoping to run into her online? You know how much I think about her and especially how this last week she has been in my thoughts. The thing is that once I did, I wasn't sure what to say and apparently I hardly ever say the appropriate thing. I want so badly to reach out to her, to say something that will encourage her, but it seems I get absorbed into this attitude of wanting to hear her say something definite now, I let my feelings overcome me and end up saying the first thing that comes to mind without praying or even stopping to fully consider her current circumstance.
It is almost like I carry an attitude of needing to hear her say something that will give me hope. I know this is wrong and I need Your help to change this. I know that it really is not that hard to trust You about her, to have faith and not worry that You are in control and are there with her and are no doubt being faithful to speak to her heart. I know it is senseless to worry or think that there is something that I can do to make it easier or whatever ... it is easy to see this once I am calm and composed.
You know that this whole situation has been hard for me; I know that this has been hard for her too, perhaps not so much in letting things go, as in my case, but rather in embracing the future, she is full of uncertainty and has questions in her mind that she has difficulty formulating. I am having a hard time embracing the future as well; my questions may be different in that I do not understand why.
The good thing was that she sounded happy ... she seems to have a gift for staying positive about things, many a times she helped to pull me out of slumps and was more of an encouragement than she will ever know. I know our relationship was far from perfect, many doomed it to defeat from day one, but I know that you allowed us to be together to help us stretch our faith, to help us open our eyes and for me, to make me vulnerable in order to learn what love really is. I have come to see this separation as a blessing, a difficult blessing but nonetheless one that has allowed me to rise above and come out of the selfish little world I lived in.
To be honest I feel like I am failing a little bit more everyday in what it is You are asking of me. You know all of my thoughts but it seems to help me when I get it all out. Thank you for listening. Jesus, please ease this pain, please remove my feelings, I cannot carry this anymore, I know I've never had to and I have brought this on myself but I cannot help having those moments when I feel like my heart is constantly screaming in silence and my thoughts are confined to worry, uncertainty and sadness.
My life has been so blessed, so full of love, I have no room to complain, your love has overwhelmed me ... I am not asking you to help me feel as if I will never need anyone or anything again either; I know that as long as I have you I will be fine, but I am asking you to please rewire me, do away with me presets, my desires and anything that may not be in line with what is Your will for me.
I love her Lord, she is like a permanent water mark that appears to be invisible, unnoticed to the eye, seeming to be erased until that moment when my heart is squeezed the tears flow and the truth could never be more obvious. If it is your will for that mark to remain as a constant reminder, then please give me your supernatural love so I can wear the scar boldly ... and then let me forget about myself and turn to the needs of others. Take away my selfishness in wanting to hold onto this and make me the blessing that I need to be.
Please also do look after her heart. Keep it in your care, give her the desires of her heart and help her to find the peace and happiness she seeks. Give her faith to hear Your voice and to set aside her own thoughts, fears concerns and worries. Help her to be faithful to call out to You and in those moments she feels her faith wavering to seek Your word.
I will not be redundant, thanks for understanding. If you have anything to say, you know how much I treasure your advice, counsel and encouragement ... I am listening.

The human heart is a beautiful thing. It is the place within your temple where the physical and spiritual meet. It is your sanctuary. I designed it so that it could be filled with My love. Nothing else can fill that space. You know how it is said that there is a constant struggle between your heart and mind? Well rest assured I hold the key to your heart, once you have asked Me to come in I never leave you.

Sometimes it seems like you are alone, when you allow the cares of this life, its worries its fears, uncertainties and seemingly paramount concerns cloud your perception, when you lose sight of why it is you have been given the greatest gift of all; the opportunity to live a life of love. You know, it seems unnatural to be genuinely unselfish, to prefer others needs, the happiness and love of others to your own hurt, it is not easy. Your flesh longs to make its self happy, to soak up all the beauty this world has to offer. This in its self is not wrong. I want you to be happy, but there comes a time when you have seen the needs of others and when I ask you to take the love you have for Me a step further and allow Me to use you, allow Me to make you more than just a recipient of my love.

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Because as you know, all the beauty of this life, all the joy it has to offer, the love you now in this physical realm will never be enough. These are the moments that count, this is when that struggle is takes on a vivid form and you are faced with decisions that fulfill your destiny.

You have to choose to answer the call. Remember that I love you, just you --you stand before me alone and I know you like no other. The ones you hold dear, they stand alone before Me as well, they belong to Me, I will not let them go either --- you have to trust Me on this. The greatest manifestation of your love for them is recognizing that your love will never be enough and doing what you can to help them come to know Me intimately.
Let go --- do not hold back --- empty yourself ---

Be happy! Cut the drama! Forget about you and think about others.

Pray, yes, but then act as if I have already taken care of it, because I have! Smile! Laugh! Look ahead and do not live in shadows of fear.

You will be alright. I promise that you will look back and see that the heartache is a small price to pay for the happiness to be found in trusting Me and finding the peace you long for.
Now give Me a hug and let our tears of joy wipe away the fear and frustration. Remember that the here and now is not forever and beyond, but deeds of love and kindness, those live on forever.

dale dale dale...

2005-12-13T08:40:00.000+10:30

Although the origins of the Piñata are debatable with some believing it to have derived from either ancient African, Chinese or Aztec culture, the piñata as we currently know it in Mexico is a tradition largely influenced by the Spanish and hereby Catholic culture. You see the seven spikes represent the 7 cardinal sins and the blindfolded individual the poor lost man blinded by sin or faith (which must be blind) and the bounty within it (fruit, candy) the mercy of God or his gifts. It plays an important role in the typical Mexican festivity *posada* where its breaking represents the moment that God manifested his love and mercy to mankindthrough salvation in the birth of his son Jesus.

It also makes for a lot of fun. Heh…

So I got one last week and I have begun to put my personal goodies I there I plan to break it on New Year, there are already an assortment of goodies in there such as tamarindo candy, chocolates, Trojans, peanuts some coins and other odd items … something tells me the guys are gonna enjoy this piñata. I am thinking of having anyone who wants to take a swing at it toss 10 pesos (about a dollar) in first, the guy who busts it takes all the coins...

In any case, it hangs from the rustic beam on my cabin/ bedroom roof and brightens the room nicely. Think Festive.

Feliz Navidad!

one more time around

2005-12-08T06:52:00.000+10:30

Have you ever found yourself thinking... Why?

Not who or when or how ... just why.

Why do we need people back?

Is there an answer to why?

Do you wonder why you wait?

Why you hope you dream of it?

Why it will not go away?

Why it hides deep down?

No matter what the cause for waiting, the imagination that formed and brought the dreams you have will also cause them to disappear ... or will it? This also is driving me up the wall.

I don't know why ... but I believe in feeling and what it means to believe.

So, one more time around ...

Are you waiting?

Maybe...?

Who cares?

2005-12-04T05:07:00.000+10:30

Are Americans charitable? Or chintzy?
By Clara Jeffery, Mother Jones

2 IN 3 American households say they give to charity, at an average of $1,262 a year. But only 1 in 3 households report charitable deductions to the IRS.

ON AVERAGE, Americans think that 24% of the federal budget goes toward foreign aid. Only 0.9% actually does.

FOUR YEARS after Bush founded the Millennium Challenge Corporation to reward Africa's best-run countries and pledged to fund it by $5 billion a year, the MCC has disbursed only 1% of that amount.

ASKED ABOUT doubling African aid, Bush said, "It doesn't fit our budgetary process."

ASKED HOW they would change President Bush's budget, Republicans would reduce foreign aid by an average of $2.6 billion. Democrats would increase it by $7.7 billion.

BECAUSE AID agencies are forced to buy from U.S. companies at inflated prices, historically America has effectively taken back 70% of the aid it donated.

LAST FALL, the U.N. requested aid for Niger and got almost no response. At that time, $1 per day per person would have solved Niger's food crisis. Now $80 is needed.

THE AVERAGE American family throws away 14% of its food. 1 in 9 families are never sure they'll have enough to eat.

A TYPICAL AMERICAN child receives 70 new toys a year, most of them at Christmas.

8 IN 10 DOG OWNERS buy their pet holiday gifts. 6 in 10 cat owners do.

AMERICANS SPEND $8 billion on Christmas decorations, almost 4 times what they give to protect animals and the environment.

praying for you Kika

2005-12-01T06:04:00.000+10:30

Hi everyone,
I'd like to ask for your support in prayer for Kika my 4 year-old
sister. She's been sick with high fevers and headaches the past few
weeks. We've been doing tests and taking her to get checked and now
finally we know what the problem is. She has an infection in her brain
fluid (which runs through her shunt). So she will be hospitalized
while they perform a three week operation. Please pray for her healing
and quick recovery, that everything will go as planned and she'll be
home soon and in time for Christmas.
Thank you so much, I love you. Cheri

(update)
So the second operation(taking out the blood clot) went well.
Although there is still a chance of it clotting again. This morning
she has a fever. Please continue praying for her health and strength.
I love you all. bye

This little girl is an Angel. The first time I met her I happened to be wearing my rasta beany. She loved it. Next time I visited I asked her if she remembered me.

-Kika it's me, Mig!-

to which she replied,

-No you're not. Where's your hat?-

I think of her every time I wear that hat.

I just want her family to know that she has been on my mind from the moment I heard and I will continue to uphold her in my prayers. As King David of old said; -God forbid that I should since against thee by ceasing to pray for thee-.

I see prayer as one of the greatest manifestations of love there is, to stop and take a moment to acknowledge the needs of others and intercede on their behalf---

Love you Kika--- hang in there.

Litlle Kika in the hospital

hasta luego

2005-11-30T13:48:00.000+10:30

To those of you who are kind enough to grace me with your company on a messenger service from time to time... I will miss you.

As most of you know you will not find me there... I would however love to hear from you.

For me the one sad thing about chatting is that it seems to have in some part done away with good old fashioned letter writing, you know the kind where people actually took the time to think about what they wanted to say as opposed to shooting off the first thing that came to mind.

I know, guilty as charged. Hey, at least I admit it.

So... if you feel the urge to write me, don't fight it... you'll most likely make my day.

Un abrazo

Enamorado

2005-11-23T23:07:00.000+10:30

no more wine for those guys...

2005-11-23T23:04:00.000+10:30

Los tres amigos

2005-11-23T23:03:00.000+10:30

2005-11-23T23:00:00.000+10:30

What?!? Who wouldn't be smiling?

2005-11-23T22:55:00.000+10:30