I can't believe it's been over 3 months...
He makes me a very happy uncle. Although I did have to shave his head for the second time cause his hair was coming in splotchy, with patches of dark and blonde hair, hilarious!
He is getting kind of cuter though.
I love my Kenji!
It simply comes down to the fact that you are first and above all a spiritual being. And only when you learn that happiness‚ fulfillment‚ and satisfaction only come through satisfying your spiritual nature will you be truly happy. As long as you're giving anything carnal—any carnal desire, any carnal nature, any carnal proclivity or tendency—a higher priority than the needs of your spirit, you will not find true satisfaction.
—ML#3611, Jesus is Enough
I’m presently schooling a group of five 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders. Fun bunch. They have a way of not only coming up with the most interesting of questions, but of also making the most intrepid statements about their surroundings and the people they know.
You know how as a parent or caretaker you at one time or another experience a situation where you have to at a later time point out to the little person that the unrestrained voicing of their opinion can be rude and embarrassing? Yet, other times, they seem to see right through people and you can’t help but tend to agree with their take on things.
Well, it’s at those moments that you pause, hesitant on whether you need to steer the conversation in a different direction; or, ask yourself if there really is a need to say anything at all.
I usually give them a pensive look and encourage them to explore other possibilities of what really may be as I contain my laughter, yet other times I can’t help but beam a smile and think, “I knew it wasn’t just me!”
Thank God for children and for how they remind me of how important it is to be honest with my self.
"... and the sky opened up
with the soil of the sun..
... I hope you understand what I mean,
nice to meet you anyway"
Man - it had been a long time since I had felt like someone took all the thoughts I wanted to acknowledge as my own and put them into the words I struggled to grasp but just could not find.
- I believe I feel the same way regarding love in that I will always love those I have loved and not think it odd - I have not closed myself off to it even though at times I have tried, I have realized that that is what I am like. However, I know that I have hurt others who had a real hard time with that mentality; the *I love everyone different, the love I have for so and so is completely different and taking away from them does not give you more* etc. I have had many a discussion about it, as for the most part even though you may treat someone as if they are unique and love them that way, it is possible to live in denial still behaving in many ways as if you are single, making all those decisions on your own, and although of course you do not mean to hurt the one you care for and in your mind you have made it so clear to them that they are the one you love and want to be with --- you end up hurting what you have.
- what I am wondering is - when you love someone, and you decide to share your life with them, and be with them, then I believe that you put their best interests and feelings above your own, asking them what they think and feel about your feelings, and accordingly, not acting on or verbalizing them if need be - out of love for the one you care for, because that is in essence what being with someone is, it is saying that their love and companionship is worth more to you than that of everyone else and your own personal desires - I believe the fact of the matter is that it must be that way in order for both to feel respected, trusted and secure. -
All that is left to do is pick myself up and try again.
.
Mom was in town for the birth and it happened to coincide with Ez' b-day. We went out for tacos... one of those moments where things are as they should be, spent with the ones you care about.
But these two...
Well, you know how you sometimes forget to tell those you love all the little things you admire and adore about them thinking that tomorrow will be a more appropriate time to say what you feel?
Yup, I did it again.
Good thing they're not too far.
He had a Happy birthday, 21; and to think there was a time when I called him the little brother. heh.
and she... I miss that smile, the one that glows even through the tears. I love that lady. Will be crashing her place soon.
and this one...
well it doesn't matter what I'm doing.. if she's there, I am always smiling.
He's almost a week old and he's beautiful. 32 hours of labor (6 of pushing), I got home just in time to see the birth. I cried. To witness the miracle of a new life entering this world is simply overwhelming.
He's about an hour old here.
La vida es bella.
In order to understand the reasons why the conflict in the Middle East is of such magnitude it I important to be conscious of the reasons for it.
Here is a brief article on the history of war in the region.
"...the meek shall inherit the earth and delight themselves in the abundance of peace."
The present situation in the Middle East has taken much of my thought these last couple of weeks; so much so that I go to bed praying for those who on both sides of the conflict are becoming the innocent victims of man's pride, greed and lack of love. I feel that the acquiescence of the powers that be of the gross disrespect for human life that we are seeing can only be interpreted as the repudiation of all that is humane, and if allowed to continue will only mark the beginning of the death of a very big part of our collective human conscience; there is simply no justification.
Outrage, disbelief and sadness are only few of the feeling that fill me when I see and hear the recent developments. It is unbelievable to what depths man will sink when there is an absence of God's love in his heart.
I pray for peace and weep for those whose only idea of love for God is that of putting and end to another being's life. Until the Prince of peace returns, I for one will continue to stand against this disease of hardness of heart and numbness of soul; if only others would awaken from the false sense of reality that surrounds them and realize than when one of us suffers, we all suffer.
Here is a little history lesson for those of you who may not be familiar with the middle east.
Sometimes people get an idea in their head that no matter how hard you try to demonstrate the truth of the matter may be different, you might as well be living in an alternate reality.
I am a stupid man, ridiculously stupid, the kind that stones have taught to fly, and yes, when I get an idea in my head (usually fueled by a resolute decision to remain true to what I either believe to be true or the sincere desire to make it so) it can be hard to let it go; but one thing I tell you, I have learned that one cannot hold on to the past.
The past; as it was, as we perceived it, as others felt it, the hidden past, the past in all it subtlety, guilt and evasiveness. Some would say that I have a hard time letting go of the past, that I choose to let it haunt me, that my present is the sum of the sentimental memories collected and acquired. Perhaps.
Although I have always preferred to see my journey in time as a continuous detachment of what has been, in the process of experiencing that which is. A choice to constantly make new...
What I was trying to say before beginning to sound lost is that I can't help myself from wanting to believe that in spite of mistakes, things can still be. Not the same, not as they were... just still be.
Does past experience, how we have felt at one time in our life determine who we are? Who we've been, yes; but who we can be?
The problem is that it seems that in order for others to have faith in you, they have to perceive you as changed, as having learned from your mistakes. Sometimes a lifetime isn't enough to show someone you care, for when they've made up their minds it as if two worlds are at odds, and you know what they say about love and war. All may be fair, it just depends what end you are seeing things from. But what does it take to be noticed when you're holding up a white flag? Is the mere act of admitting the lack of desire to continue the end in itself? Or is it for a reason?
Maybe it's just about having lived the experience. I like that thought. All the same, I will never stop saying "Te amo".
Got this mascara back when the Emma and Angie were visiting - gonna make my own film. " WHACKY (sounds like Joaqui) LIBRE!" I need a side kick.
Anyway, got to thinking that my Super Hero character needs some pizzaz and I was inspired by the STRONGBAD look. What do you think Luci?
Emails I can do; but the song writing, I think I lack his creativity on that one... dangit.
Thought you did not have to, did not want to; but you let it go.
Take back that which was given but not meant to be received.
You breathe.
Whether you form the distance or the distance forms you; peace will be found only in trust.
You accept.
I will not take away, you must choose to give: He says.
Be happy - the words that will not stop echoing.
You smile.
It is that simple.
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:
"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an
ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you-- the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.
And he went back to meet the fox.
"Goodbye," he said.
"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to
remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to
remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
Le Petit Prince Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (June 29, 1900 – July 31, 1944)
It's a blurr speeding past me.. sliding doors; they will open, close and then move on. The choice to get on is sometimes the hardest. I board, look out the window and realize that the blurr is now where I used to be.
Where will it take me? Not sure. But that guy up front, He's in control. So I don't mind the past taking its place in the background... and I am happy to be moving.
- You can't have your cake and eat it too -
"What about apple pie?" I asked (I love apple pie).
"Don't even think about it, one bite the whole thing, it's all the same" they say.
I know they're right.
but still... cookie anyone?
I hadn't realized just how infrequent my posting has been; diversions can become hazy when a new focus is found.
Read an interesting piece today on "The American vs The European Way". Muy interesante. All paths lead to Rome I tell you.
Looking forward to seeing all the happy people in MTY this weekend and will have some pictures to post; which reminds me I have come to the conclusion that I love photos too much and must get a camera.
Don't think I will ever go for the amateur photographer thing though; I think apart from perhaps interpretive dance, I lack any and all other forms of art skill. Heh. Just point and shoot will do.
Had a song dedicated to me on the radio last night! (Snow Patrol Run) One day she is my student and next time I see her she is a Radio DJ, yes, I felt special.
My soon to be nephew/niece gave its first kick last night! You know what this means??? I'm going to be an uncle! I of course knew this already, but just thinking of all the things we'll be able to do together ( play soccer, play soccer... play soccer)is an exciting thought, think of it he is kicking already! I need to take some pictures of the beautiful belly. Little help please Luci. :)
It has been much too long -
so much has happened and in due time I will relate all, but right now I have one word for you:
NEGATIVE
it's the only word I saw on that big medical sheet in the big envelope.... and I am happy.
Good times, let them roll.
:)
Thank you!
Emma!
I just saw!
Nevermind the other scary pic, I am very touched; and as unworhty as I feel of those words they have made me feel very loved.
No man is an island and you also have touched my life in many ways, for the better, none of this mujer mala sutff!
besos!
Happy Birthday!
Through difficulties and hardships, through highs and lows, through breakings and re-makings - 25 years has only made you a better person. You have changed many lives, made more of a difference then you know, and touched hearts in places few every could.
I wish you the best for this next year - love, happiness, contentment, satisfaction, peace and all that you desire. You have given so much to Him - I know you deserve way more.
Happy Birthday and may you have a long life, full of wine, merriment and women! :)
(25 is ooooold!) :P 
Today marks a very special occasion. It is that time a year when the good Pisces people celebrate those dates in which God deemed the earth worthy to bestow upon it such wonderful creations as ourselves.
Happy Birthday guys!
My favorite (only) nephew Christian turns 8 today! And as if that were not enough, two of them most likeable women I've had the pleasure of knowing make this day a festivity as well.
Paula and Gia – what can I say other than:
THANK YOU GOD
I rest my case
You can always count on a Pisces woman to without remorse tell you what she thinks; whole truth, take it or leave it.
Pisces women.
They have that unique quality of in a non strictly metaphorical way, bringing fun to the party and making the after party even better (and that without the need of alcohol) always a plus in my books. However, dont ever let them think too much about something, sometimes they will not know when to stop. If with a single look they can make you laugh or cry, I wont even tell you that their words can do, but if ever you are up to the experience, it is a ride you dont want to miss.
Love you girls!
It had been quite some time (several years) since I had done the singing thing.
Here you can see our in house divas (whose contracts specified the need for the following yet was not limited to: a constant supply of bottled Evian water for in between sets, cappuchinos delieverd to their bed every morning, diet cokes with every meal and a case of Corona's between gigs) in all their radiance- heh.
Kidding, they were real troopers and single handedly managed to make the trip very enjoyable. Coudn't have done it without you girls --- yup, ur the best. :)
It was a lot of fun.
Thinking of Morelia next. Camineros, here we come.
I realized I never posted pics of my ice-skaitng episode... nothign too exciting, but I didn't fall once! Which is more than I can say for my partner. :)
Just have the rollerblades and bareback riding to conquer now... wish me luck.
The stuff memories are made of. I really am priviliged to live with as good a bunch as the one here. Feast Day 3 found us at a lake. Compadres Jason and John were the first to give in to the urge and jump in, followed by some others, coulnd't be left behind, and even though it was cold, pulling the girls in made it more than worth it.
It has been quiet in here, and for no other reason than; the absence of sufficient time to kill.
Let me tell you that I have as of last time something was left said on here gone ice skating! (third time in my life) Me and any kind of skates never seem to work well, but I survived (did not fall once) and even got a picture of me smiling.
Valentines Day is quickly approaching and I will most likely be absent for the occasion but I do want to say something about this fine day. Though I find myself facing a unique challenge; that of celebrating this event with the proverbial -hands tied behind my back- ; I will not let this steal the joy that comes from the sincere, genuine magic that lies in the heart. Expressions of love may on this day come attached with chocolates, (which I will have) fine bottles of wine (which I shall not have) and many other joyful activities (all in due time mig), but the one thing that will make this day unique, will be the sound of the voice that can only be heard in the heart, the one that tells you to love the best way you know how.
To those of you who have your hands and can use them, never minds your hands; to those of you who have the courage to listen to your heart … Hear Hear: Let not love die with the occasion, nay, I say let it ignite a flame, burn on continuously, and if need be rekindle what you feel slipping away. But most importantly, let love speak through you, let its voice be heard, carry its echo through your eyes and in your smile. Learn to listen in those moments of silence when nothing is left unsaid and everything is felt.
Think of the one word that makes you smile and say it over, again and again.
Muna :)
There have been many times when I have been selfish, faithless and yes --- irresponsible.
It has been a long term in the school of hard knocks; I find myself sometimes repeating the same mistakes, wondering how much it will take for me to understand. It is in these moments that I realize just how blessed I am to have shared every one of those experiences with those who possessed enough understanding and selflessness to have loved and cared for me to the point of their own hurt - who through their silent strength, resolve, faith, compassion and forgiveness have helped me to learn.
The strength to forgive is one which I will forever admire.
You have touched my life in a very special way and if ever you should need someone to be there for you:
I will be here.
- a soon coming end to the winter of wonderland, for in more ways than one has Narnia been my abode.
- a haze at first, I now see that with time the colors of the sky are once again bleeding into each other - somewhere in the stillness I sense the inaudible voice of light whisper:
- yet a little while -
no longer broken, for the fragments that once were have been smashed to smithereens - no longer splinters of the frame that held my illusions, for they too have risen in flames - the fire of acceptance.
- and all these which I feared to be remnants and shadows forever to haunt have instead returned from whence they came and do now exist as invisible entities whose pulsating presence breathe life to this ever changing heart.
- though once I waited, there is no longer reason to prolong or delay, for all this is indeed nothing more than the beginning of that which is to be.
- that which is now, that which has been, and that which I will choose.
- Can love and time coexist or are they destined to be forever at odds?
- Is love not subject to time or is time which is indifferent to love?
- no matter -
- I say one cannot have one without the other, more so, that the acceptance of the limitations which time does represent in this mortal realm and the realization that these be but for a season, is once again nothing more than the first step to beginning a journey of discovery.
- love in this life.
- to seek out or let myself be found by that which is destined to live on forever, is a journey I intend not to miss.
- elude? what for? -
- I shall enjoy every step of the way.
I finally got my hands on a scanner.
This could be either good or bad, but nonetheless fun… and will no doubt be highly entertaining - all of those 10 year old pictures are coming up.
Found myself going through the letters, cards and photographs of times past. It reminded me of a good many things - they say a good deal of a mans worth can be valued by the friendships he either holds or has made. Whether those friendships are of a sincere, valuable and caring nature is a completely different story and obviously quite subjective.
I guess for me, it has always been easy to form friendships but very difficult to need people back - I wonder if thats weird.
Regardless - welcome to the scanning era of my blog: to kick it off I will now present you with a picture that goes back a bit beyond 10 years - guess who the little squinty kid at the bottom is.
Yours truly.
She is here.
You beautiful you, little sister. Faithful puzzle buddy; charming, smart, no no-nonsense, self acclaimed clumsy individual... I couldn't have asked for a better family and Angie you are no exception to the fantastic bunch, gonna miss you little one.
I wasn't here for the Christmas meal as I had to make a lightning trip to the border and back, but they saved me tamales... so much love.
Whenever these two get together they bring out a side in each other that is rarely seen, lovng it... they have me smiling all day.
And this last picture. What can I say other then I blame them and their antics for this silly grin and that is what a really happy face looks like on me. :)
Ok, so Christmas has come and gone and I am a week late in posting pics, nontheless I had a good time with friends and fam so up they go anyway. My sister Ang is in town for a visit and I have been having a splendid time these last couple of days, 18 now... wow, they grow up so fast.
Un abrazo a todos.
