Feliz Navidad everyone.

New Year --- here we come.

May 5th, 2005

Thank you for you love compadre, it has been a while I know. Listen Jesus, I wanted to talk a little bit about what happened yesterday and try to speak my heart. You know how I was hoping to run into her online? You know how much I think about her and especially how this last week she has been in my thoughts. The thing is that once I did, I wasn't sure what to say and apparently I hardly ever say the appropriate thing. I want so badly to reach out to her, to say something that will encourage her, but it seems I get absorbed into this attitude of wanting to hear her say something definite now, I let my feelings overcome me and end up saying the first thing that comes to mind without praying or even stopping to fully consider her current circumstance.
It is almost like I carry an attitude of needing to hear her say something that will give me hope. I know this is wrong and I need Your help to change this. I know that it really is not that hard to trust You about her, to have faith and not worry that You are in control and are there with her and are no doubt being faithful to speak to her heart. I know it is senseless to worry or think that there is something that I can do to make it easier or whatever ... it is easy to see this once I am calm and composed.
You know that this whole situation has been hard for me; I know that this has been hard for her too, perhaps not so much in letting things go, as in my case, but rather in embracing the future, she is full of uncertainty and has questions in her mind that she has difficulty formulating. I am having a hard time embracing the future as well; my questions may be different in that I do not understand why.
The good thing was that she sounded happy ... she seems to have a gift for staying positive about things, many a times she helped to pull me out of slumps and was more of an encouragement than she will ever know. I know our relationship was far from perfect, many doomed it to defeat from day one, but I know that you allowed us to be together to help us stretch our faith, to help us open our eyes and for me, to make me vulnerable in order to learn what love really is. I have come to see this separation as a blessing, a difficult blessing but nonetheless one that has allowed me to rise above and come out of the selfish little world I lived in.
To be honest I feel like I am failing a little bit more everyday in what it is You are asking of me. You know all of my thoughts but it seems to help me when I get it all out. Thank you for listening. Jesus, please ease this pain, please remove my feelings, I cannot carry this anymore, I know I've never had to and I have brought this on myself but I cannot help having those moments when I feel like my heart is constantly screaming in silence and my thoughts are confined to worry, uncertainty and sadness.
My life has been so blessed, so full of love, I have no room to complain, your love has overwhelmed me ... I am not asking you to help me feel as if I will never need anyone or anything again either; I know that as long as I have you I will be fine, but I am asking you to please rewire me, do away with me presets, my desires and anything that may not be in line with what is Your will for me.
I love her Lord, she is like a permanent water mark that appears to be invisible, unnoticed to the eye, seeming to be erased until that moment when my heart is squeezed the tears flow and the truth could never be more obvious. If it is your will for that mark to remain as a constant reminder, then please give me your supernatural love so I can wear the scar boldly ... and then let me forget about myself and turn to the needs of others. Take away my selfishness in wanting to hold onto this and make me the blessing that I need to be.
Please also do look after her heart. Keep it in your care, give her the desires of her heart and help her to find the peace and happiness she seeks. Give her faith to hear Your voice and to set aside her own thoughts, fears concerns and worries. Help her to be faithful to call out to You and in those moments she feels her faith wavering to seek Your word.
I will not be redundant, thanks for understanding. If you have anything to say, you know how much I treasure your advice, counsel and encouragement ... I am listening.

The human heart is a beautiful thing. It is the place within your temple where the physical and spiritual meet. It is your sanctuary. I designed it so that it could be filled with My love. Nothing else can fill that space. You know how it is said that there is a constant struggle between your heart and mind? Well rest assured I hold the key to your heart, once you have asked Me to come in I never leave you.

Sometimes it seems like you are alone, when you allow the cares of this life, its worries its fears, uncertainties and seemingly paramount concerns cloud your perception, when you lose sight of why it is you have been given the greatest gift of all; the opportunity to live a life of love. You know, it seems unnatural to be genuinely unselfish, to prefer others needs, the happiness and love of others to your own hurt, it is not easy. Your flesh longs to make its self happy, to soak up all the beauty this world has to offer. This in its self is not wrong. I want you to be happy, but there comes a time when you have seen the needs of others and when I ask you to take the love you have for Me a step further and allow Me to use you, allow Me to make you more than just a recipient of my love.

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Because as you know, all the beauty of this life, all the joy it has to offer, the love you now in this physical realm will never be enough. These are the moments that count, this is when that struggle is takes on a vivid form and you are faced with decisions that fulfill your destiny.

You have to choose to answer the call. Remember that I love you, just you --you stand before me alone and I know you like no other. The ones you hold dear, they stand alone before Me as well, they belong to Me, I will not let them go either --- you have to trust Me on this. The greatest manifestation of your love for them is recognizing that your love will never be enough and doing what you can to help them come to know Me intimately.
Let go --- do not hold back --- empty yourself ---

Be happy! Cut the drama! Forget about you and think about others.

Pray, yes, but then act as if I have already taken care of it, because I have! Smile! Laugh! Look ahead and do not live in shadows of fear.

You will be alright. I promise that you will look back and see that the heartache is a small price to pay for the happiness to be found in trusting Me and finding the peace you long for.
Now give Me a hug and let our tears of joy wipe away the fear and frustration. Remember that the here and now is not forever and beyond, but deeds of love and kindness, those live on forever.

dale dale dale...  

Posted in

Although the origins of the Piñata are debatable with some believing it to have derived from either ancient African, Chinese or Aztec culture, the piñata as we currently know it in Mexico is a tradition largely influenced by the Spanish and hereby Catholic culture. You see the seven spikes represent the 7 cardinal sins and the blindfolded individual the poor lost man blinded by sin or faith (which must be blind) and the bounty within it (fruit, candy) the mercy of God or his gifts. It plays an important role in the typical Mexican festivity *posada* where its breaking represents the moment that God manifested his love and mercy to mankindthrough salvation in the birth of his son Jesus.

It also makes for a lot of fun. Heh…

So I got one last week and I have begun to put my personal goodies I there I plan to break it on New Year, there are already an assortment of goodies in there such as tamarindo candy, chocolates, Trojans, peanuts some coins and other odd items … something tells me the guys are gonna enjoy this piñata. I am thinking of having anyone who wants to take a swing at it toss 10 pesos (about a dollar) in first, the guy who busts it takes all the coins...

In any case, it hangs from the rustic beam on my cabin/ bedroom roof and brightens the room nicely. Think Festive.

Feliz Navidad!

one more time around  

Posted in

Have you ever found yourself thinking... Why?

Not who or when or how ... just why.

Why do we need people back?

Is there an answer to why?

Do you wonder why you wait?

Why you hope you dream of it?

Why it will not go away?

Why it hides deep down?

No matter what the cause for waiting, the imagination that formed and brought the dreams you have will also cause them to disappear ... or will it? This also is driving me up the wall.

I don't know why ... but I believe in feeling and what it means to believe.

So, one more time around ...

Are you waiting?


Who cares?  


Are Americans charitable? Or chintzy?
By Clara Jeffery, Mother Jones

2 IN 3 American households say they give to charity, at an average of $1,262 a year. But only 1 in 3 households report charitable deductions to the IRS.

ON AVERAGE, Americans think that 24% of the federal budget goes toward foreign aid. Only 0.9% actually does.

FOUR YEARS after Bush founded the Millennium Challenge Corporation to reward Africa's best-run countries and pledged to fund it by $5 billion a year, the MCC has disbursed only 1% of that amount.

ASKED ABOUT doubling African aid, Bush said, "It doesn't fit our budgetary process."

ASKED HOW they would change President Bush's budget, Republicans would reduce foreign aid by an average of $2.6 billion. Democrats would increase it by $7.7 billion.

BECAUSE AID agencies are forced to buy from U.S. companies at inflated prices, historically America has effectively taken back 70% of the aid it donated.

LAST FALL, the U.N. requested aid for Niger and got almost no response. At that time, $1 per day per person would have solved Niger's food crisis. Now $80 is needed.

THE AVERAGE American family throws away 14% of its food. 1 in 9 families are never sure they'll have enough to eat.

A TYPICAL AMERICAN child receives 70 new toys a year, most of them at Christmas.

8 IN 10 DOG OWNERS buy their pet holiday gifts. 6 in 10 cat owners do.

AMERICANS SPEND $8 billion on Christmas decorations, almost 4 times what they give to protect animals and the environment.

praying for you Kika  

Posted in

Hi everyone,
I'd like to ask for your support in prayer for Kika my 4 year-old
sister. She's been sick with high fevers and headaches the past few
weeks. We've been doing tests and taking her to get checked and now
finally we know what the problem is. She has an infection in her brain
fluid (which runs through her shunt). So she will be hospitalized
while they perform a three week operation. Please pray for her healing
and quick recovery, that everything will go as planned and she'll be
home soon and in time for Christmas.
Thank you so much, I love you. Cheri

So the second operation(taking out the blood clot) went well.
Although there is still a chance of it clotting again. This morning
she has a fever. Please continue praying for her health and strength.
I love you all. bye

This little girl is an Angel. The first time I met her I happened to be wearing my rasta beany. She loved it. Next time I visited I asked her if she remembered me.

-Kika it's me, Mig!-

to which she replied,

-No you're not. Where's your hat?-

I think of her every time I wear that hat.

I just want her family to know that she has been on my mind from the moment I heard and I will continue to uphold her in my prayers. As King David of old said; -God forbid that I should since against thee by ceasing to pray for thee-.

I see prayer as one of the greatest manifestations of love there is, to stop and take a moment to acknowledge the needs of others and intercede on their behalf---

Love you Kika--- hang in there.

Litlle Kika in the hospital