disbelief  

Posted

Sometimes people get an idea in their head that no matter how hard you try to demonstrate the truth of the matter may be different, you might as well be living in an alternate reality.

I am a stupid man, ridiculously stupid, the kind that stones have taught to fly, and yes, when I get an idea in my head (usually fueled by a resolute decision to remain true to what I either believe to be true or the sincere desire to make it so) it can be hard to let it go; but one thing I tell you, I have learned that one cannot hold on to the past.

The past; as it was, as we perceived it, as others felt it, the hidden past, the past in all it subtlety, guilt and evasiveness. Some would say that I have a hard time letting go of the past, that I choose to let it haunt me, that my present is the sum of the sentimental memories collected and acquired. Perhaps.

Although I have always preferred to see my journey in time as a continuous detachment of what has been, in the process of experiencing that which is. A choice to constantly make new...

What I was trying to say before beginning to sound lost is that I can't help myself from wanting to believe that in spite of mistakes, things can still be. Not the same, not as they were... just still be.

Does past experience, how we have felt at one time in our life determine who we are? Who we've been, yes; but who we can be?

The problem is that it seems that in order for others to have faith in you, they have to perceive you as changed, as having learned from your mistakes. Sometimes a lifetime isn't enough to show someone you care, for when they've made up their minds it as if two worlds are at odds, and you know what they say about love and war. All may be fair, it just depends what end you are seeing things from. But what does it take to be noticed when you're holding up a white flag? Is the mere act of admitting the lack of desire to continue the end in itself? Or is it for a reason?

Maybe it's just about having lived the experience. I like that thought. All the same, I will never stop saying "Te amo".

This entry was posted at 26.7.06 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

11 comentarios

Anonymous  

Why are you always trying to be so filisofical. Why don't you talk like normal people do?

11:06 AM

Philosophical? I would never assume as much; but I do say that my mind is perhaps more inquisitive than most when it comes to our thoughts and the effects that they casue.

10:40 PM

"I am a stupid man, ridiculously stupid" - hahahahahaha! I love it! :)

4:43 AM

Heh, I'm sorry - you know I love you. I just couldn't help it!

10:02 AM

yeah, I thought you would get a kick out fo that one.

;)

11:53 AM
florecita  

The problem is that it seems that in order for others to have faith in you, they have to perceive you as changed, as having learned from your mistakes.

Actions speak louder than words, which are terribly cheap.
If you don't give up on your actions, they will inevitably eventually get the message.

8:25 AM

I'll be the cork. Ya veras. Words CAN be terribly cheap... yet at times, so much stronger than actions. It's all about the right words followed through with the right actions. Working on it.

:)

10:07 AM

Luchi, you're so wise! *sigh*

10:39 AM
Angie  

you say it so right...
..words tossled together that, at the same time make perfect sence... and none at all...
just like it feels...
;)

10:31 AM
Anonymous  

I have never been a fan of your blog but I am keeping this posting...I can feel all the your emotions in this writing and when you can do that to someone that means you are a good writer.

12:00 AM

that is too kind anon.

it's amazing how though we are unique individuals we can all at sometime connect.

chido

10:43 AM

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